I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
