I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she pinky promised me she was 18
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize