the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
