Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
