Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Please don't give away my fajitas
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
