he wants to bone in the snuggie
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
