omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
