Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
