My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
