She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
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