His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
