..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
