did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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