Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
