Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We need to get me chipped asap
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
