i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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