i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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