Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
a search helicopter?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
