Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
