Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
