I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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