just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
