I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
