last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She bit a glass in half.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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