bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize