She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
