ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
