I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
