textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
