Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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