There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You were trust falling into bushes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
