i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize