at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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