how can u be prego again
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Two words: nipple clamps
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