I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize