You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
