he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
