i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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