and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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