I skipped work to stalk him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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