it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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