Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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