did you get engaged???
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
