physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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