no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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