brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
North Korea, Best Korea!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
