Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
