I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
