did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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