i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
