I wanna bring you to show and tell
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
