She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
