You made me cry and you don't even care
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize