Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
