i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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