how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
