I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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