he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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