Don't you send me to vm
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
