I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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