Your face is a jimmy john
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
