So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize