I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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