just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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