Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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