There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
