Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
