chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
