So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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