Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
