My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
