Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize