I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
