I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
