He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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