hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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