so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
