Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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