How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
