it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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