they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
