I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize